Don Henley - The End of the Innocence
I sang this song at Karaoke Krew last night because it’s beautiful, and has a nice middle range for the vocals, so I knew I wouldn’t have an embarrassing high note moment. I’m only now realizing how prescient a choice it was, as I cannot find my iPhone this morning. Yes, I was drunk, and YES I woke up this morning with Jack in the Box ephemera littered across my bed that I don’t remember buying, but if that fucking thing is gone and I have to spend $600 to buy a new one, then all of my innocent “fun time party guy” bullshit is gone for approximately 3 weeks, the called upon “white people problem” grieving period for lost technological marvels.
We’re only at Defcon 2 because I haven’t torn everything apart yet. I’m going to get stoned, open a Negro Modelo, and pretend this isn’t happening for another 6 hours, BUT THEN shit’s going to get serious. I go hard in the paint once I’ve lost an iPhone and decide to get busy looking for it.
And if you think I won’t rock the fuck out of a throwback flip phone while I’m waiting for my 2 year eligibility period to mature, then you need to reassess your shit homeboy.
You have the highest iPhone body count I know of to date.
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